December 2011
75 posts
Helping A Friend Move
If I find out you are moving, I will show up to help whether you asked me to or not. I will also try and touch everything you own at least once, maybe sniff or lick it, possibly rub it on my crotch a few times; whatever I think is going to let you know that I’m a true friend who is there for you.
Sabotage
By the Beastie Boys.
Picture me in a full Santa suit breakdancing hard on a cardboard box.
With Ray-Ban sunglasses on.
Merry Christmas and Goodnight Minions.
Giving a small child exactly what they want is...
That is how children get spoiled. Fortunately my son is still too young to have a sense of entitlement. He behaves perfectly well when we tell him he can’t have something, but only if we have an explanation. He might not understand, but if we say ‘no’ and stop talking, oh that’s not good. He woke up from his nap _exactly_ when Sabrina was pulling in with the car and I still...
Balloons and small children
I had the pleasure of watching a Tow Mater (From Disney/Pixar’s Cars) balloon float away from my son as he was exiting the car today. Sabrina had explicitly asked the clerk to tie a weight to the string because it was for a small child. I cannot express to you the crushing heartbreak of Caleb repeating “Mater? Mater? Mater?” in your ear as you try to explain exactly how a certain...
The Car Has Been Towed
AAA came, Grandpa Pete came, and now Sabrina and Caleb are out getting the car fixed and going grocery shopping. I, meanwhile, am trying to get used to a standing workstation in a futile attempt at giving my ass a vacation. I have so much horribly boring text wrangling chores to do I’m not going to think about it. I’m just going to crank it out.
All I want is to be a happy man
I’ve...
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